In the beginning, there was awkward silence.
The Canadian Elite Basketball League (CEBL) inaugurated its existence earlier tonight in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, with the hometown Saskatchewan Rattlers taking on the visiting Niagara River Lions, and the mood early on at the SaskTel Center was one of inert reticence. Perhaps the local fans could still hear the echoing death-wails of failed low-tier professional basketball teams of the past—the Saskatchewan Storm, the Saskatoon Slam, the Saskatchewan Hawks. Perhaps they couldn’t hear anything over the thunderous hip-hop beats that throbbed throughout the warmup. Either way, when called upon to “make some noise” in the predictable, generic sports idiom, they were initially hesitant to whoop at full throat.
Of course, they were still getting to know all the
players—and by “players” your correspondent is not referring to the members of the Rattlers’
roster; rather, he is referring to the armada of personalities perpetually stalking the perimeter of the court. First, there
was Gregor, a microphone-brandishing hype-man in Rattlers apparel and dad jeans.
Then there was the Rattlers’ all-Callipygian cheerleading team, dubbed the “Venom
Girls”. (You can just picture the marketing meeting: “we want strong women who are
eye-candy, yes, but also fierce!”) Then there was the Rattlers’ mascot, rather
predictably an anthropomorphic snake in basketball attire. He goes by the
handle of “Swish”, which is of course a delightful onomatopoeic pun vis-a-vis the sound of a successful jump
shot, but is also just begging for a queer reading; presumably the marketing team was
going for the former more than the latter. Swish spent an inordinate amount of
time fondling Rattlers’ bench players during the warmup. And of course, not to be forgotten was
the Rattler’s DJ, under the cognomen Charly Hustle, manning the turntables with region-atypical deftness. It was refreshing to hear hip-hop in the usually country-fried
SaskTel Center; your correspondent will take the urban stylings of Onyx over Keith
Urban any day. Mr. Hustle wasn’t all about the hip-hop, though—in a truly virtuosic
turn, he blended a pumped-up version of Ace Frehley’s “Back in the New York
Groove” with Billy Squier’s “The Stroke.”
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| Swish accosts fans |
Also, the pre-game offered a chance to get to know
some of the personalities who aren’t on payroll. The standout here was a heavyset man sitting courtside wearing a Rattlers’ green away jersey with hockey-mask
to match.
Even as game time neared, the fans still appeared to
be figuring things out. DJ Charly Hustle adeptly played, with derision, “The
Lion Sleeps Tonight” to welcome the River Lions, but apparently a lot of the
onlooking Saskatchewanese didn’t get the joke, as they began clapping along to the
dozy beat. They did manage to muster up some hearty cheers as the Rattlers were
introduced, most of them American or Quebecois, and gave a particularly warm
welcome for the sole local boy, Saskatoon’s own Michael Linklater.
Two suits emerged from the audience and were
introduced as the founders of the CEBL. They thanked the fans, and then the
CEBL was tipped off into existence. The Rattlers scored the first basket,
eliciting a rousing cheer from the local crowd. Even with the Rattlers jumping
out to and sustaining an early lead, the crowd still didn’t sound like it knew
precisely what it had paid for. One Stentorian blowhard attempted to start a “Let’s
Go Rattlers” chant, but it died without a single repetition...like, not even from the initiating blowhard. The biggest crowd reaction in the first quarter came when a River Lions’ player missed an attempt at an
alley-oop dunk. If there’s one thing prairie folks don’t like, it’s a hot dog, and true to that spirit, they cheered with veritable disdain.
But for all the fan caginess, the product of the court
was very good. The game was closely contested through the first half. The rhythm of the game-play synched well with the Interscope-wrought hip-hop instrumentals that
played all throughout. (The Dre and Eminem dominated score was a welcome surprise for those of us who came fully expecting Kanye to the hilt.) For the
most part, the refs stayed out of the action, calling a pretty loose game and letting
the players play. The zebras were not, however, perfect, and missed at least one instance of goaltending for either team. Most of the shots went down from both sides,
making for an eminently watchable game. Tavrion Dawson did particularly
well from the floor, and he led the Rattlers in scoring at the halftime buzzer,
at which point the Rattlers led 51-45. The crowd was growing more responsive, if
not entirely involved, and gave a solid applause as the teams left the court for the break.
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| Scintillating CEBL action |
Soon after play resumed, however, the Rattlers began to
falter, making a few questionable ball-handling decisions. The DJ also made
some questionable choices, drifting far afield from the hip-hop catalog and letting
Cher’s “Life after Love” besmirch the PA system during a Rattlers’ offensive rush.
Charly Hustle would later redeem himself with “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, but
Cher’s throaty bray may very well have demoralized the home squad, as they gave
up the lead for the first time late in the third.
The mood was lightened, if only momentarily, when the
cursory Kiss-Cam made its rounds through the crowd and Gregor commentated with perfunctory glad-handing banter. The camera stopped on the hockey-masked super-fan at courtside, and he was forced to
unmask in order to smooch his sweetheart. Turns out that it is indeed possible to wear a hockey mask
out of the house and still manage to procure a girlfriend. How about that? All
hope is not lost.
Speaking of hope, the Rattlers have lanky forward Marlon Johnson. With the
Rattlers down, Johnson ravished the Niagara D, stormed through the key, and slammed
home an inspiring one-arm jam, singlehandedly retaking the lead. The crowd went
wild, and with that there was a tectonic shift in the SaskTel Center, so palpable it was
almost ontic, to borrow a phrase from Heidegger. It was at that point that the
Rattlers truly became the home team.
The next big cheer came when Michael Linklater checked
in. He was only in the game for a couple minutes, but he played hard, fully embodying
the concept of ball-hawk, chasing after the opposing forwards with his prim
queue flying behind him all the way. He managed a hard-fought basket in the paint and got a
well-deserved ovation.
Soon afterward, the hockey-masked guy was named “Fan
of the Game.” In this correspondent’s estimation, none of the 3400 in attendance was in shock.
Soon after, the Rattlers would give up the lead yet again,
this time on a lackadaisical inbound that the River Lions intercepted and
promptly bucketed. It seemed as if mental fatigue was setting in for the Rattlers.
The River Lions’ Guillaume Payen-Boucard was particularly hard on the home town team, draining
basket after basket, many of them free-throws.
The situation turned grim. The River Lions were creating
offense from defense, forcing turnovers and consistently beating the
Rattlers to the inside. Even the ensuing promo giveaway, in which Venom Girls fired mini basketballs into the crowd while Bon Scott minced through “Big Balls” on the PA system, offered little levity as the game moved out of reach. With 2:30 to go,
the Rattlers found themselves down by 10.
The Rattlers, however, fought back valiantly, led by Marlon Johnson. He connected on an alley-oop to pull the Rattlers within 2. With the score 99-97, the Rattlers got possession back with six seconds left. However, hesitation to advance the ball past half-court left them with less than two seconds to put up a last-chance J. The inopportune 3-point attempt at the buzzer, for the win, went off the rim, and the Rattlers lost their opener. The disappointment was tangible in the arena, especially from the Rattlers’ Bruce Massey, who appeared to be animatedly chiding his teammates in the aftermath.
Nonetheless, this was good. You see, this was not the usual Saskatonian disappointment of desolation or desperation. This was the disappointment of dissatisfaction—passionate dissatisfaction at that—which contains within it a hope for something better. So often what holds Saskatoon and Saskatchewan back is a lack of passion, and a resignation that what’s best is what currently is. Something better may very well come to be for the Saskatchewan Rattlers and Saskatoon itself.
Even though they came up on the losing end, the Saskatchewan Rattlers have, then, left us with something we haven’t seen since before the days of the long-gone Hawks: a good game of pro basketball. We are also left with questions. Can the CEBL sustain itself? Can Saskatonians handle the hip-hop aesthetic over the course of four months? Will the fans, thrice-bitten basketball-wise, continue to be more than a little shy with their support?
Your correspondent apologizes for the predictable close, but it needs to be said: game one of the Rattlers’ season did not send us home snake-bitten.
The Rattlers, however, fought back valiantly, led by Marlon Johnson. He connected on an alley-oop to pull the Rattlers within 2. With the score 99-97, the Rattlers got possession back with six seconds left. However, hesitation to advance the ball past half-court left them with less than two seconds to put up a last-chance J. The inopportune 3-point attempt at the buzzer, for the win, went off the rim, and the Rattlers lost their opener. The disappointment was tangible in the arena, especially from the Rattlers’ Bruce Massey, who appeared to be animatedly chiding his teammates in the aftermath.
Nonetheless, this was good. You see, this was not the usual Saskatonian disappointment of desolation or desperation. This was the disappointment of dissatisfaction—passionate dissatisfaction at that—which contains within it a hope for something better. So often what holds Saskatoon and Saskatchewan back is a lack of passion, and a resignation that what’s best is what currently is. Something better may very well come to be for the Saskatchewan Rattlers and Saskatoon itself.
Even though they came up on the losing end, the Saskatchewan Rattlers have, then, left us with something we haven’t seen since before the days of the long-gone Hawks: a good game of pro basketball. We are also left with questions. Can the CEBL sustain itself? Can Saskatonians handle the hip-hop aesthetic over the course of four months? Will the fans, thrice-bitten basketball-wise, continue to be more than a little shy with their support?
Your correspondent apologizes for the predictable close, but it needs to be said: game one of the Rattlers’ season did not send us home snake-bitten.
