Not the Rattlers' Night Against the Nighthawks

The rain whipped, the wind keened, and the lightning danced all over Saskatoon, and the SaskTel Centre was left sitting like a soaked loaf of concrete against the iron grey sky. Most of the electricity stayed outside, however, as the Guelph Nighthawks pounded the Saskatchewan Rattlers 93-75 in a sloppily played CEBL affair.

The pregame warmup evinced more roster shakeups for the Rattlers. As could have been predicted given his multiple mini-meltdowns in the Rattlers’ loss to Hamilton last week, Ali Haidar was out of the lineup. He was not, however, gone from the team. Rather, he stalked the sidelines in sweatpants and sandals (with socks, no less) throughout the preliminaries, absently dribbling a basketball while he glad-handed with uniformed teammates. Also in uniform for the Rattlers' pregame shoot was an unannounced addition who looked like a very tall twelve-year-old boy. He wouldn’t get into the game. The Mighty Manitoban Chad Posthumus was back in a big way, though, and he turned out to be one of the few Rattlers who looked fully alive on this evening.

Chad Posthumus preps for a free-throw. 

The Nighthawks exuded a prim briskness in their road whites with blue trim. As they were introduced, DJ Charly Hustle somewhat obtusely played Bob Seger’s “Night Moves.” That may have been the closest the home side came to having the upper hand (in any sense) on this evening.

The Nighthawks quickly went up by two touchdowns, leading 14-0 about three minutes in. Advisably, the Rattlers called a timeout to regroup. They eventually succeeded in scoring a bucket to break the shutout, and got a well-deserved Bronx Cheer for their efforts. The game did not, however, turn around. Soon enough Guelph had an insurmountable 26-5 lead. Shot after shot bounced, kissed, and lipped off the rim for the Rattlers in a display of shooting that was patently disheartening for the fans in attendance. The crowd sat in a morbid silence that was interrupted only by dismayed brays and groans as brick after brick clunked off the rim and/or backboard. The Rattlers did not hit double digits until 1:46 remained in the first, making the score 26-11. This was part of a 12-0 Rattler run to close the quarter, which would have been impressive had they not let themselves fall behind by three majors (with PATs, no less) in the early going. The score was 26-17 at the buzzer.

For the obligatory promotional spectacle between quarters, a guy wearing shorts, sandals, and the gnarled, haggard grimace of a working-class Brooklynite was given a chance to shoot for a jersey. His first shot looked more like a pass, grazing the bottom of the net and sailing out of bounds. The indefatigable game host Gregor, ever the professional, managed to polish the turd. “It’s okay,” Gregor explained, “the Rattlers had some problems early on, too.” The working-class Brooklynite went on to miss the second shot.

By the middle of the second quarter, the Rattlers had had too many passes intercepted by Guelph to count. The verb “intercept” almost gives the Nighthawk defense undeserved credit—truth be told, the Rattlers were passing the ball heedlessly. Guelph’s passes were, by contrast, crisp and accurate, their quick, no-look outlet feeds leading to a plethora of threes. There were a few fleeting moments of brilliance for the Rattlers. One was authored by Michael Linklater, who logged an unprecedented amount of minutes on this evening. After wresting the ball from a Guelph guard, he bucketed a hard-won layup to narrow the margin to eleven. The Rattlers trailed 44-34 at the half.

Halftime saw yet another demonstration of children’s basketball. Once again, the crowd that remained in their seats sounded just about as engaged in this as they were in the actual game. For the first half of halftime, ten-year-olds traded buckets while DJ Charly Hustle spun “Apache” by the Sugar Hill Gang—and this just one game after FSIN Vice-Chief Morley Watson spoke at centre court, ushering in an honour song from Michael Linklater’s brother. How far have we really come? I mean, for Christ’s sake, “Apache” has the word “squaw” in it. Finally, mercifully, that song ended, and, for the second half of halftime, the court was cleared to let some older, more pubescent children come out and play.

The pace picked up in the third quarter for both teams. Marlon Johnson succeeded in slamming home a one-hand alley-oop, and the home crowd came alive. They died again soon after when Guelph answered back with business-like proficiency. The Rattlers got as close as eight points before they settled back into complacency. Posthumus was the only Rattler who looked in any way venomous, sparring for rebounds on both sides of the ball and even easing home a few buckets. For the home team, though, no one else could replicate Posthumus’s soft touch, and, to a man, they all appeared more eager to cram than to ease.

Ssswish vs. Gregor (left) in a relay to make a basket;
this was the most intriguing part of the game. 

The Rattlers trailed by just nine going into the fourth. Even a big block by the diminutive Linklater on a man considerably taller and girthier than him was not enough to raise the Rattlers’ spirits. Thanks in no small part to the from-the-floor threes of one Connor Wood, the Guelph lead expanded to the upper-teens and hovered there for the remainder of the contest. Fans started to file out early. Not even Ssswish and his t-shirt cannon—his “little friend,” as Gregor calls it, in reference to Al Pacino’s climactic murder spree in Scarface—could keep them in their seats.

The Rattlers’ couldn’t even make it close. The final score was 93-75 for Guelph. It was the Rattlers’ fifth straight loss, their third straight on home hardwood. The crowd dispersed promptly, and the arena was empty before 9—a full fifteen minutes earlier than usual. It was as if leaving after a losing effort has for Rattler fans grown familiar and, on account of that, the whole post-defeat ritual has become streamlined.