Rattlers Stick it out Against Honey Badgers

The Saskatchewan Rattlers defeated the Hamilton Honey Badgers 100-79 in a fairly one-sided afternoon affair in Steel Town. The Rattlers led from pillar to post, starting the game on a 21-6 run. Marlon Johnson took charge for the Rattlers, intensively slamming home dunks and breezily swatting away the Honey Badger’s lay-up attempts. The highlight of the game was Johnson's two-handed windmill jam in the second quarter. The victory wasn’t a one man effort, however, and the Rattlers’ newcomers factored heavily in their victory. Evidently, the recent roster moves have yielded profitably for the Saskatchewan side. The Rattlers have really trimmed the fat, even while adding some 100% grade-A Canadian beef in the person of Shaquille Keith. The former Honey Badger brought the ruckus with a palpable vengeance, trash-talking his ex-teammates after every critical shot he made. Even the tiny Maurice Jones threw his weight around, draining several key threes. The Rattlers’ victory is their second in a row, and comes less than 48 hours after their win over the Fraser Valley Bandits 3,282 kilometers away in Abbotsford.

Rattlers Slither Past the Bandits

The Saskatchewan Rattlers ended their six game losing streak with an uncharacteristically convincing 91-79 win over the Fraser Valley Bandits, sending the quiet Abbotsford onlookers home in complete silence. The Rattlers' win comes on the heels of a massive roster shakeup earlier this week that saw the exit of Ali Haidar, Gentrey Thomas, and even “Awesome” Tavrion Dawson (who’d been with the team since the beginning of the season). Coming up big among their replacements was beefy Shaquille Keith (previously fat-shamed in the July 12 entry of this blog while he was a member of the Hamilton Honey Badgers), whose deft finger-roll lay-ins and solid shooting from the floor landed him the team lead in scoring. That said, the Rattlers also got help from exactly where they needed it—that is, their core performers. Negus Webster-Chan, for instance, re-asserted himself as an integral part of the Rattlers offensive attack. His one-man 8-0 run in the 3rd quarter helped the Rattlers pull away from the home side. With the win, the Rattlers climb back toward .500 with a record of 7-8.

The win was some small measure of vindication for the Rattlers, whose ongoing struggles extend beyond the court. Their revolving door roster has given the team little stability and, evidently, decreasing chemistry. What started as an intimidating pack of lean, sleek, and chiselled Alpha dogs like Tavrion Dawson, Justice Alleyn, and, most pronouncedly, Bruce Massey, has been, by all indications, spiraling into a rag-tag group of ham and eggers. The Rattlers still have their de facto birth in the league championship showdown to fall back on, but it may take further roster changes—or at least giving the current line-up a fair chance to gel—to ensure the hosts don’t get seriously embarrassed on the CEBL's biggest stage.

Not the Rattlers' Night Against the Nighthawks

The rain whipped, the wind keened, and the lightning danced all over Saskatoon, and the SaskTel Centre was left sitting like a soaked loaf of concrete against the iron grey sky. Most of the electricity stayed outside, however, as the Guelph Nighthawks pounded the Saskatchewan Rattlers 93-75 in a sloppily played CEBL affair.

The pregame warmup evinced more roster shakeups for the Rattlers. As could have been predicted given his multiple mini-meltdowns in the Rattlers’ loss to Hamilton last week, Ali Haidar was out of the lineup. He was not, however, gone from the team. Rather, he stalked the sidelines in sweatpants and sandals (with socks, no less) throughout the preliminaries, absently dribbling a basketball while he glad-handed with uniformed teammates. Also in uniform for the Rattlers' pregame shoot was an unannounced addition who looked like a very tall twelve-year-old boy. He wouldn’t get into the game. The Mighty Manitoban Chad Posthumus was back in a big way, though, and he turned out to be one of the few Rattlers who looked fully alive on this evening.

Chad Posthumus preps for a free-throw. 

The Nighthawks exuded a prim briskness in their road whites with blue trim. As they were introduced, DJ Charly Hustle somewhat obtusely played Bob Seger’s “Night Moves.” That may have been the closest the home side came to having the upper hand (in any sense) on this evening.

The Nighthawks quickly went up by two touchdowns, leading 14-0 about three minutes in. Advisably, the Rattlers called a timeout to regroup. They eventually succeeded in scoring a bucket to break the shutout, and got a well-deserved Bronx Cheer for their efforts. The game did not, however, turn around. Soon enough Guelph had an insurmountable 26-5 lead. Shot after shot bounced, kissed, and lipped off the rim for the Rattlers in a display of shooting that was patently disheartening for the fans in attendance. The crowd sat in a morbid silence that was interrupted only by dismayed brays and groans as brick after brick clunked off the rim and/or backboard. The Rattlers did not hit double digits until 1:46 remained in the first, making the score 26-11. This was part of a 12-0 Rattler run to close the quarter, which would have been impressive had they not let themselves fall behind by three majors (with PATs, no less) in the early going. The score was 26-17 at the buzzer.

For the obligatory promotional spectacle between quarters, a guy wearing shorts, sandals, and the gnarled, haggard grimace of a working-class Brooklynite was given a chance to shoot for a jersey. His first shot looked more like a pass, grazing the bottom of the net and sailing out of bounds. The indefatigable game host Gregor, ever the professional, managed to polish the turd. “It’s okay,” Gregor explained, “the Rattlers had some problems early on, too.” The working-class Brooklynite went on to miss the second shot.

By the middle of the second quarter, the Rattlers had had too many passes intercepted by Guelph to count. The verb “intercept” almost gives the Nighthawk defense undeserved credit—truth be told, the Rattlers were passing the ball heedlessly. Guelph’s passes were, by contrast, crisp and accurate, their quick, no-look outlet feeds leading to a plethora of threes. There were a few fleeting moments of brilliance for the Rattlers. One was authored by Michael Linklater, who logged an unprecedented amount of minutes on this evening. After wresting the ball from a Guelph guard, he bucketed a hard-won layup to narrow the margin to eleven. The Rattlers trailed 44-34 at the half.

Halftime saw yet another demonstration of children’s basketball. Once again, the crowd that remained in their seats sounded just about as engaged in this as they were in the actual game. For the first half of halftime, ten-year-olds traded buckets while DJ Charly Hustle spun “Apache” by the Sugar Hill Gang—and this just one game after FSIN Vice-Chief Morley Watson spoke at centre court, ushering in an honour song from Michael Linklater’s brother. How far have we really come? I mean, for Christ’s sake, “Apache” has the word “squaw” in it. Finally, mercifully, that song ended, and, for the second half of halftime, the court was cleared to let some older, more pubescent children come out and play.

The pace picked up in the third quarter for both teams. Marlon Johnson succeeded in slamming home a one-hand alley-oop, and the home crowd came alive. They died again soon after when Guelph answered back with business-like proficiency. The Rattlers got as close as eight points before they settled back into complacency. Posthumus was the only Rattler who looked in any way venomous, sparring for rebounds on both sides of the ball and even easing home a few buckets. For the home team, though, no one else could replicate Posthumus’s soft touch, and, to a man, they all appeared more eager to cram than to ease.

Ssswish vs. Gregor (left) in a relay to make a basket;
this was the most intriguing part of the game. 

The Rattlers trailed by just nine going into the fourth. Even a big block by the diminutive Linklater on a man considerably taller and girthier than him was not enough to raise the Rattlers’ spirits. Thanks in no small part to the from-the-floor threes of one Connor Wood, the Guelph lead expanded to the upper-teens and hovered there for the remainder of the contest. Fans started to file out early. Not even Ssswish and his t-shirt cannon—his “little friend,” as Gregor calls it, in reference to Al Pacino’s climactic murder spree in Scarface—could keep them in their seats.

The Rattlers’ couldn’t even make it close. The final score was 93-75 for Guelph. It was the Rattlers’ fifth straight loss, their third straight on home hardwood. The crowd dispersed promptly, and the arena was empty before 9—a full fifteen minutes earlier than usual. It was as if leaving after a losing effort has for Rattler fans grown familiar and, on account of that, the whole post-defeat ritual has become streamlined.

Rattlers Look Defanged Against Honey Badgers

The Rattlers lost their first home game of the post-Bruce Massey era, dropping a 102-96 decision to the Hamilton Honey Badgers at the Snake Pit. Massey’s absence made for nothing short of a discombobulation of the psyche for players and spectators alike. Indeed, the fans that rimmed the lower bowl were relatively somber (and sober) compared to previous Friday night tilts.

Mercifully, the pregame wasn’t a gong show, for once; in fact, on this evening, something of actual substance was undertaken. Vice-Chief Morley Watson of the Federation of Sovereign Indian Nations (FSIN) was welcomed to center-court and took the mic. He welcomed the crowd to Treaty 6 territory, and gave a poignant discourse about power of sport, and the positive influence that the First Nations members of the Rattlers have had on their communities. The crowd proffered a stirring applause. To those two players, Michael Linklater and Gentry Thomas, Watson presented ceremonial blankets. Linklater’s brother then performed an honour song, which also garnered deserved plaudits. The anthem was then sung in a mix of English and an indigenous language your correspondent wasn’t immediately able to identify. This was more satisfying than the usual tokenistic pregame acknowledgement that the basketball game we are about to watch is being played on Treaty 6 land.

Someone who wasn't on Treaty 6 land was Bruce Massey. Massey has left the Rattlers permanently, absconding to the summer leagues of Ukraine. What does the former Soviet-bloc state have that Saskatchewan doesn't? 

On a more encouraging note, Negus Webster-Chan was back from his foot injury. Webster-Chan was unmistakably stepping up to fill Massey’s Brobdingnagian shoes. This was evident right from the tip-off, and soon enough he drained a key three-pointer to extend the Rattlers’s early lead. Moreover, Webster-Chan was rocking a headband, a shout out to Massey, perhaps, and, beyond that, an announcement that he's the Rattlers’ new alpha snake.

Negus Webster-Chan at the charity stripe

Too, there were a few new crew members on the Rattlers’ Ship of Theseus. The most noteworthy was Big Ali Haidar, who established his Bunyanesque presence with two quick buckets in the paint in the first quarter. Still, other Rattlers had trouble getting shots to fall from in close, and the home side was down 24-19 as the clock ran out on the opening frame. One of Rattlers’ forwards sent up a buzzer beater, which missed the net, but thereafter bounced out of play and landed square in the bed of the vintage Chevy pickup that sits behind the court for some reason (likely a raffle or something). The crowd proffered a stirring applause for this, as well.

At a stop in play early in the second, our venerable host Gregor made public the fact that it was SSSwish’s birthday. He was turning one year old. Gregor lead the crowd into singing "Happy Birthday" for the anthropomorphic serpent. Some followed suit, singing with tepid, mumbly enthusiasm. This vignette culminated with Ssswish cramming a piece of birthday cake into the face of some random guy. As play resumed, an official-looking woman in a headset and a neat purple dress dutifully mopped up the cake-stain from the concrete.

The Rattlers outscored the Honey Badgers in the second quarter. The Venom Girls, bless their hearts, attempted to help out on D by setting up shop on the baseline while the opposing team shot free-throws. The assumption, it follows, was that the Venom Girls' waving pompoms and supple blondness would distract the opposing shooters. Unfortunately, this strategy didn't seem to work. The Honey Badger’s Samson Carter was a paradigm of asceticism, draining a pair of foul shots while the Venom Girls went through various stations of mammalian lordosis in front of him. Effectiveness of the Venom Girls’ defensive schemes notwithstanding, the Rattlers managed to trim the deficit to just a couple buckets at half, trailing 48-44.

For the second time this season, the halftime show involved a demonstration of youth basketball. This time the children were from various Metis and First Nation communities. The children looked like they had been admirably coached: they had a knack for establishing themselves in the paint, and often buried the bucket when they got there. In sum, the Rattlers could learn a thing or two from these children. One child had particularly mad skills, and looked like a Globetrotter among Generals. He was reminiscent of Bruce Massey in that way.

The Rattlers came out flat in the third. They set up plenty of good scoring opportunities, but just couldn’t make the shots go through. The Honey Badgers, meanwhile, took advantage of their scoring chances, and the Rattlers defense couldn’t stop them. Instead, they could only foul. Several Rattlers showed their frustration, none more so than Ali Haidar, who, after taking an inexcusable foul, slammed the ball hard on the parquet once, twice, and thrice before returning it to the ref.

Flex Cam made its rounds, though it seemed to inspire the Honey Badgers more than it did the crowd. Case in point: the Badgers’ big Shaquille Keith made a bucket and then flexed his bicep ostentatiously, drawing the ire of the crowd. “Put him on flex cam!” screamed a drunk seated nearby your correspondent. While Keith’s pipes were certainly Cam-worthy, the man otherwise looked to have a percentage of body fat comparable to that of your correspondent. (It just wouldn’t be your beloved Best Saskatchewan Rattlers Blog without some fat-shaming…but does it truly count as fat-shaming if, in making the quip, the quipster equally shames his or her own physique?)

Shaquille Keith: Large and in-charge for the Honey Badgers

The Rattlers made a push in the third, culminating in a few spirited slams from Shane Osayande. However, the Rattlers’ defanged themselves on a number of occasions. On one fast-break that promised an easy bucket, Marlon Johnson fired a pass ten feet over the head of his supposed target. That pass landed three rows deep in the main bowl. It was as if Johnson couldn't contain himself, had got too excited. It was as if the Rattlers were missing the soothing presence of Bruce Massey.

The score was 77-67 after three. In between quarters, the Venom Girls did their compulsory dance arrangement. From the Hamilton huddle, Honey Badgers’ mainstay Demetrius Denzel-Dyson repeatedly unlimbered so as to sneak peeks at the dancing ladies.

Maybe that rhythmic shimmying was a motivator, for the Honey Badger’s stood firm against the Rattlers’ pedestrian presses and maintained their lead throughout the fourth. By now the drunken guy just up the row had grown frustrated, and, whenever the Rattlers failed to convert turnovers to points, would let loose a torrential hail of F-bombs. When Gregor initiated the singalong, the obligatory Neil Diamond had been ousted in favor of “Bohemian Rhapsody.” And so, a chorus of lusty Saskatchewanese, many of them drunk, sang along to a song widely interpreted as being evocative of suicide. Accordingly, one could discern (if not outright hear) a certain verity—a profound punctum—in this vocal undertaking.  

The Rattlers pulled to within five with two minutes remaining, but Joe Rocca’s three with 35 seconds left proved to be the dagger. In the stoppage that followed, Gregor introduced the marketing department’s newest attempt at levity, dubbed Dad Dance Cam. It was little consolation. With the Rattlers’ down insurmountably, and so many beers having been consumed, few dads were disposed to dance.

At the final buzzer, the Honey Badgers had themselves a 102-96 win. After the handshakes, the Rattlers congregated at centre-court for a team huddle. Notably absent was Ali Haidar, who exited the court promptly, perhaps as a function of his frustrations. Will he be around next week? This is just one of many uncertainties that the Rattlers now face with Bruce Massey having decamped for Ukraine. Perhaps the greatest source of uncertainty is the Rattlers’s 6-7 record. For the first time since the inaugural game of the season, the Rattlers are a losing team.

River Lions Sweep Season Series with Rattlers

Make it zero for four. With a 97-89 loss on Friday night, the Saskatchewan Rattlers suffered their fourth straight defeat to the league leading Niagara River Lions, and they continue to spiral downward in the CEBL standings. The Rattlers were no doubt reeling from the absence of the incomparable Bruce Massey, who has stepped away from the team to spend more time with his family. Through three quarters, the Rattlers' otiose defense paved the way for many a River Lions' lay-in. The visitors trailed by as many as 18, though they managed to slither back within 5 thanks to a few rousing dunks from Marlon Johnson. Excessive rim-hanging on one of these dunks, however, earned Johnson a delay-of-game infraction. The River Lions were able to hang on for the victory, and to remain undefeated on their home hardwood. With the loss, the Rattlers fall to a middling .500 with a record of 6-6. The only silver lining for the Saskatchewan side is that they won't have to face the River Lions again in the regular season. Perhaps they're saving their win over the Niagara boys for the Championship Weekend in August back in Saskatoon. 

Fare thee well, Bruce Massey!

The bigger loss for the Rattlers is that of Bruce Massey. The "Headband Hotshot" from Germantown, Maryland, was the spiritual core of the Saskatchewan squad. Moreover, he was (and is) a preternatural ball-handler who could singlehandedly change the tone and pace of a game, even at his advanced age. The man should have had his chance in the NBA. Now it appears he has finished with even the CEBL. It remains to be seen how the spiraling Rattlers will deal with Massey's absence. Let this blogger be the first to say: please Bruce, don't leave us—Saskatchewan is gonna need you, especially on Championship Weekend!